The Lie that brought Truth within me!

The Lie that brought Truth within me!

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set
you free." - John 8:32

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32
Again and again I regret of letting her go away, but then I realize may be we were not meant to be. Her departure was meant to happen and that departure had to send a change within me, Change of Attitude, Change of Thought and change of honesty!

We were good friends since long, but It was during my third year B.Sc when I started calling her mine. The beginning was from a lie. She asked me, "Do you love me?".  I didn't. I had some feeling for her but had never thought her on such way. I envied my friends who were in relationship and I too wanted to taste love. I said her "Yes". She didn't had any such feeling for me, But she accepted it with her humble heart. We got closer with each other along with time and gradually both of us had started feeling for each other and these all took no time. In one of the conversation, she said me, 'I love you'. I knew that was the truth. I replied with "I love you too" and I know this expression was not the lie!

My nature was reserved. And for those failures and pain occurred within me, I used to keep it with myself, hiding them from my parents and also from her. But those who loves us can read it even when things are unexpressed. Even She could and she did most of the times. On those time I was going through many failures and frustration and I didn't want her to be sad for them. I used to lie her. And to cover those lie, I used to speak another lie. I thought they were for her happiness and hence they should be acceptable.

A lie to cover one, and another to cover its predecessor. Within a year our relationship was sinking in ocean of lie. She had detected many of them which kept making her upset. She wanted to be with truth but I was facing economic problems, academic problems, low marks and family problem, they all weren't meant to be shared. Not only with her, I used to lie with my parents too.

She wanted things to be shared while I needed most of those emotions to be isolated within me only. They weren't meant to hurt her, but as said house made of cards fall in no time. The end came.
As of the beginning, I had to speak a lie to let her go away. As our relationship was having lots of problem, She asked me, "Do you still Love me?", I said I don't. Though it was a lie, She believed it. She departed leaving all of my dreams incomplete. I missed her lot, I desperately needed her but I saw those differences among us and made me realize we can never be happy. This was again a lie. May be we could have been.

All of these had hurt me so much that I asked myself, "Can lie be forbidden now onwards? Can I make a promise with me and my God that I will always speak the truth, whatever be the scenario?" I wanted the truth that shall free me with every type of guilt. I desperately needed it.

Initially it was difficult, but along with time I matured and truth remained as the inseparable part of my life. My life changed then onwards. I carried truth everywhere I traveled. I always shared truth with my parents whether that was about losing gadgets, whether it was about my sickness or anything else. Two years has passed since then and now I feel I speak truth in most of the sense. It makes me feel difficult if I have to speak partial truth to anyone. I got so many things since then but all these came only with the cost of losing her!

Few days back my students were telling me that it is difficult to follow every command of scripture where they quoted speaking lie was one of them. I shared them my story, I shared them my past and what I had learnt. I told them that it is really possible to avoid lie and yet be happy and successful.
Destiny had no plan to bring back her towards me, but I know it was preparing me for my own happiness. And may be for somebody who is to come!

To accept this truth, it costed me my relationship and somebody who really loved me.A lie made me find her, A lie took her away, but since then lie itself vanished changing everything within me!

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Regards, Love


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