~~That forgivness which i could never gift her~~

That forgiveness which I could never gift her

I forgave your thousand mistakes just because of your one true steps really improved my life,
I couldn’t forgive your small mistakes even in presence of your thousand true steps, because that one small mistake might had destructed me…

Well.. These two phrases are different one said on different condition…. Let us look one verse from bible….

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you
But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses.
Mathew 6: 14, 15

From the early stages of my life, I myself was fully aware of these words, and I used to think me myself that yes, I should forgive the every of people of my life who might had hurt me knowingly or unknowingly.

But despite being regular in church and being strong in praying, I couldn’t give this particular forgiveness to that sweet gesture of my life. Yes, she was a wave because she was the one to change me in positive matter. But still being benefited so much from that archangel, why do I still term that particular moment of life as landslide of my mountainous journey? And why despite calling myself as true Christian and I myself being fully aware of the above written bible verse, why I am not able to forget that day to gift her forgiveness from my internal heart?

I had always trusted her so much, and I believe I love her too…
She was always in my heart covering the biggest space...
From the moments of being strangers to the closest and trustful person, she was always in my heart and my soul… but one incident changed every of my thoughts which I had for her…

Whenever my friends used to ask me any suggestion about their broken relationship, I used to say every of them on these way, “whenever we get our bone fractured in any part of our limbs or hands, a few effort of trying to join broken parts from doctor makes that broken part so strong that there will be never again fracture on that area… similarly the same is our friendship, if you mis-understood in any of the term, clarify it, and believe me, your friendship will never suffer of that type of incident…

Even after that incident, I always trusted her and I always shared every of my internal feelings. But, whenever time comes about trusting the fact that ‘she stills trust me’, I rarely trusted her…

I used to think that time will again bring both of us in the same condition and similar moment where we will be scattered very soon.

Frankly saying, I could never and never forgive her for that small trouble she had given in my life… the more I try to forgive her, I try to ask myself the same question, “how would have been my life If I was not blessed by certain miracles to overcome those destruction? How could she do such a stupid thing in my life? Is there any guarantee that I am really her friend….?

My dear, in some stages of our life, we get a similar condition where we can never forgive our some special people for the hurt they had given us particular moment of our life… because it could have damaged our whole life… though we are not harmed any more because of that, but we fear, if they show their untrusting behaviors on coming days too…

I am also trying to forgive her, and I am praying regularly for this topic, but I know she will defiantly get hurt one day for this fact that “I am never able to forgive her for that small incident in our friendship”. I miss you in every of my moments as my best friend, and I wish to get your company till the end, I even don’t have any regret for the best relationship we shared in our life, but I need time before I could really forgive you from all my heart…

Dear readers, I don’t ask you people to forgive that everyone who hurt them, because I am myself not able to forgive her…
But let not your good relation be damaged just because you never had respect and love to your dearest friend after that intermission in your life...

Otherwise when the relation will end, you will also feel regret on one of the worst step of your life recalling it as “that forgiveness which I could never gift my dearest friend”


Forgiveness is not forgetting an injustice done;
it is the understanding that allows us to set aside,
the emotional impact of that injustice pertaining to ourselves.
When we no longer hold these emotions,
and have understanding for the person,
we have forgiven them:
:- Unknown

My lord, please help me and please fulfill your wishes from my life,
so that i can glorify your kindness, wisdom and power…


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