Dead Roses and Dead Soul

Image
Dead Roses and Dead Soul No one saw his major loss


Every morning 
walking up to miles
he collects roses
with the hope
he can give them to her one day Every afternoon
forgetting disappointments
he collects hope
with the dream 
she will be with him one day Even by the end of the day,
those fading roses on his desk
and depressed soul within him,
both continue to live
with a desire of reconciliation someday Times changed
but she didn’t. His soul continues to breathe
he sprays water to roses
hoping neither of them dies
hoping they both live for one more day
where they can hope for one more. She never came back
she decided she won’t. Roses withered and died
his soul grieved and died.
He buried roses and his soul
with no hope of a further journey
with no desire for tomorrow. All saw dead roses
being sorry for its loss
but the dead soul within him
no one cared to search
and remained invisible forever. Suraj Ghimire 2020 This poem was first posted on https://medium.com/storymake

Black beauty on first day of college & her first smile

Black beauty on first day of college & her first smile

I was learning. Day by day different lessons of daily life were teaching me, and I was excited to learn myself in different mode of journey. Through the entire medium of physically, mentally and spiritually, I was determined to be the most matured human. But along with my maturation, I never knew that I was searching someone who would add perfection in my life. Simply, the girl of my life, and the girl of my dream, in summary, I used to term her as ‘the one, only and last love of my life’. I never knew how would have been that girl, because the every new face I used to browse, even if they were termed as “one of the beautiful” by my friend and outer world, I had replied them, “she is yet to come in my life”

Being irritated from my words, and perhaps being crazier to choice of my heart, my friend had asked me the numerous times, “it seems, you are searching an angel from heaven, let us know what is your type? Being no late to reply, I used to explain description of girl that I used to find in my dream. “She shall be the one, she shall be unique, and still she shall be simple as all. The girl looking like angel from heaven, in her appearance of simple dresses, she shall be “one of the finest creations” by almighty.” They used to tease me; they used to tease me over my choice.

Describing girls, I never compared them with their beauty, because I believed dresses, hair style and sweetness & softness of voice are the factors which can somersault the beauty of any girl in other direction. So as a human nature, I used to wish my girl to have sweetest and most soft voice of world. Not really that, I wanted to invite the girl with above quality in my life, but because I wanted to make my girl the most happiest I wished, whoever she may be, may she be armed with all quality, so that a world would compose a thousand exclamatory words for her on a very first glance. Not the last, and not even the least, I wanted her to share testimony of blessing in front of the world which lord of Israel has given her in every stages of life.

It was really a long wait for me to step in college life, because from the time I started to understand my responsibility, through college days, I had wanted to strength my future planning of numerous target and goals of my educational and professional career which my heart and mind had decorated it with memory of much hurdles and failure. Finally the college was set to open, and I perfumed myself with smiles. First day of college, I knew it was a moment of special for everyone… and so it was for me too.

Discussing with my minds about my new routine for the next three years, I reached the college and selected first row seat from second column. The entire class room was filled with multi-ethnic strangers and perhaps most of them were busy in rotating their heads most up to 90 degree from both sides. Shortly, my eye was caught by a girl seeing on whom, I was feeling I had seen her earlier somewhere also. Black color of girls t-shirt, her Dress, was as simple but different than of others. Her hair a typical black with no any artificial decoration and a very silky eye-brow, this appearance of her made me tag this girl as “Black beauty”. Although with Not so much fair in her skin color, her face was shining with the eighth wonders of world i.e. her smile was the highlights to watch on a very day.. But because she was just behind my bench, I restricted myself from looking her frequently




Since it was first day, I think lecturer were prepared with only some advice to give for us. The day was over and I paved my way towards my room. For me, the college chapter of the day to recall was only that sweet black beauty, because, more than teachers, she was the one who had my attention. But perhaps, it was just a superstitious of my mind that I had earlier seen her. So I thought it’s only simple.

The second day, I reached college on a early time. So, in that world I could reserve the same place and ……..

As I sat in my place, I try to browse her among the strangers; and in no time, I found her. She was sitting in the corner of first column talking with her friends. This time, it was white stripes clothes which had added shyness in her soul. Her lips were lightly polished with white lip guard. And definitely, it was twinkling because of her smile. If there was any face book community for this stranger’s smile, I think I would have joined it without thinking twice. But this was no more virtual world and I realized that if my intention is being friend with her, either I have to talk with her or I have to make her notice me so that if luck favored she may speak herself. But don’t know, what should be the process and how long will it take? Thinking that she may notice me, I tried cross questioning teachers while they were teaching. Foolish me, I don’t know what might had been my first impression with that black beauty.

The third day of college, where my heart was again intending to see her, I was eager to talk her, and I was dying to listen from her. The thing that was making me most unstable was my curiosity to know her name. it seemed like I can wait no more to call her by her name… still, I never had courage to talk with her.

Another question that was killing me was why I am continuously enjoying the smile of that black beauty? Oh, sorry, this time, she was no more black beauty, because today some else dress had decorated this “anamika”, still I used to feel no other when she was near my atmosphere…

College days went on passing, and I had my own ways of making them memorable. Still, I was not able to interact or communicate with her. I got to know her name from her communication with her friend, and it surprised me to know that her name was non-other than “anamika”. How could it happen?

Anamika and I started talking with each other about a month later, and our talking is limited to once or twice in a day, sometime not even once. The day if we happened to cross each other, she just greet me with smile which gives me courage to forget the lately nightmares I had faced. My unresponsive mind records the every conversation with her and I replay it numerous times when I am lost on my thoughts. Lately, I started realizing that I have stopped thinking about that archangel who was supposed to come in my life… perhaps, because I have started finding my angel in the form of anamika. Simply in form of that black beauty on which I had crush from the very first sight doubting myself if it was a first sight love for which I was waiting from many span.





I started analyzing the eligibility criteria to be ensured if I can invite her to my life. Voice, not so sweet, still I love listening to her… Her hair is natural in itself. Her appearance is such that she may be not perfect in her beauty, but it looks I have already stamped her with “the most beautiful girl of my world”

Sometime I feel like sharing with anamika all the facts that how special is she for me, I wished to say her that my heart has noticed her from the very first college day, and I wish I could say her, “I am the world biggest fan of your smile”…

But, but I am afraid… I am afraid that I may not be able to find her smile for me anymore in my life, I am afraid if she would divert her way any day if we are in the stage of crossing our ways and I am afraid if she would include me on the ”ignore list” in her virtual hard disk.

Anamika might had covered the only few eligible criteria of my perfect angel, but still, my heart went to accept her from the very first day I saw her. Earlier it was my brain which was searching anamika in any other people, but when I found her in front of her me, it was the combined affirmative answer by both heart and mind. Whatever may be happen with this relationship, I wont be troubled much because I have realized “to be in anamika’s heart” I had no any special bonus blessing. Instead I am happy and I will be always be happy because “for anything to happen in our life, along with permission of almighty, it should be summary of both our heart and mind.” I may not be practically experiencing these types of decision again, but until a coin shall be with me, I would be tossing up to find out what my heart prefers.

Thanks Anamika aka ‘black beauty’ for your arrival in my life…

Regards

Suraj





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The lenses in Social media:- The Vulture or Samaritan?

No criminal Charge Against Government Officials Exposed in The Rautat Bomb blast. What does it mean to Nation?

We Each Married A Stranger — And I Know It Sounds Weird.