second love letter

From novel- In Search of Destiny
Second part- I write for my Priya
(Chapter-15)- My last words for you


Like those rays of light coming from a brightly sun, few words here tries to get composed after being scattered by atmosphere in sky to spread a blueness and similarly some of the judicious feelings originated from internal heart are just trying to be dedicated to the integral part of my life and that my one of the dearest friend Priya, just wishing the best of luck for the each and every steps of your physical, mental and spiritual life and dear Priya I wan a promise myself to give you company for every of your those steps trying to pave the way towards horizon……
Here that stupid word goes on………
Dear Priya, Truly speaking happier moments settled in the world of depression and taste of defeat in the victorious journey gets memorable for lifetime with every people who face it. Although those phases divides life in two parts of a same coin as head and tail, the arrival of one, in the surprise exit of other not only shocks us, but also changes the direction and destination of the journey we are intending to travel. Despite lacking the physical matters which is needed in human life to make ourselves happy, I was not late myself to rate as one of the luckiest because of carrying the extra ordinary dream which often used to make me proud. Though life was suffering from different controversies, often and often success used to kiss me and my feelings in the form of sky rain. Perhaps just because of that I myself used to think as a distinct person in those crowds of lovely creation of Almighty lord. I used to term moments of love as temporary happy making machine, but long term pain giving one. The moment of love was the reason of loosing days which throws us thousand steps back from summit of success. For me life was an unpretentious bay, still I never tried to hide any pain and happiness from my dearest friend
Never knew when did Life somewhere began to get a U-Turn. On the way of adapting changes with respect to time, my heart started to develop some of the qualities which were necessary for a human being to be a complete man. I myself was not able to practice those life living theories which I had written on the earlier stages of my life. Still I was sure of not allotting any berth inside my heart on my journey of life where I was chasing my destination.
These wonderful moments don’t have any ending and I even don’t know from where shall I start it, how shall I start writing it? Do I have any purpose of printing my feelings on these words? This type of question often clouds my life. Sometime I think why not to collect it on paper? Life has never been as good as it is today. I am really happy. Today I have realized neither any success nor any of my desire has been fulfilled. Still don’t know why I am internally satisfied?
Explaining those memorable moments are really difficult. Even today I smell fragrance all over my entire soul and physical body just because of that day. On the very first day when I saw you, my happiness knew no bounds. Don’t know why waves of light produced from my retina got to be reflected after touching you? Why I happened to see you? And when I saw you, I got to feel that it was not the first incident I was passing near by your beautiful images. I was never the believer of re-incarnation, these means that I had earlier seen you in very this world. Yes Priya, I got answer of all the question of why, how, where and…..etc. and what I am feeling in current moment is that I have not only seen the most beautiful angel of world, but I have got her in my life too. I repeat dear Priya, I feel like getting my angel today in my life too. Because the effects of your arrival has already graveled my journey, marking traffic signal by the green colorful permanent marker. So just because of those joys, I was not late to dream for everlasting pleasure, without thinking how shall time react with me in coming future if I shall invite this stranger to rule my life? Every time I used to wonder at dark sky and its twinkling stars, I used to ask the same type of question with me myself. Often and often when my loneliness used to company me, my dream girl used to show her sudden appearance in the form of loving angel, to give a repetitive promise frequently, “In your happiness and sadness, whether it be with smile or tear, either in dream or real life, in every span, for the every moments I shall be there in your life, till my last breath and till the end of this universe to company you whether being a stranger, or being your life partner in your life, I don’t mind if my lord shall ask you to be in front of you as a terrible spirit or as your dream girl in your dream to not to let you feel alone, to realize a bunch of smile being present in your face.”

As time went on running, I too started to get the answers of every question. So from the early stage of my maturation, I had termed days of her arrival in my life as a golden period. This planning was of those days where I was chasing myself to that summit to taste the victorious moment. I was preparing myself to present uncountable number of everlasting happiness which depth will be larger than of ocean, as stable but larger than of Himalayan range nor its lengthen shall be with a galaxy. From that very moment I had started to plant a seed of love somewhere in the corner of my heart, thinking one day I shall fulfill her every desire giving scarification of my every personal happiness. In the name of dedication of life, I was so hurried and really so crazy to walk my journey with that beautiful angel who was named to show her presence in my life, by thunder to clear all the clouds of my life. On those times when the rising ray of sun dominates over darkness, to initiate a new fresh morning in human’s life, people get ready to plan fresh activities looking at a fresh environment. Similarly I shall fulfill the role of those same white lights, to get dispersed on you to make your life as colorful as rainbow, to write a new chapter in your life which shall be the most beautiful lesson for the every readers, which shall be shining even after sun sets to sleep at horizon. These types of her promise were sufficient to force me to declare the loving angel as the synonyms of me and my life for forever.
Dear Priya, it really feel surprise whenever I compare these two incomparable phase of my life. What a huge change has my life experienced over the shortest interval? Somewhere there was a stable heart aiming only and only destination while somewhere here is that dying heart full of uncountable moles of love always being ready to do anything on her signal. This stupid moron doesn’t mean that you are the destructive tsunami of my planet. You are a boat for this sailor; you are that blue creature of my oceanic life which increases beauty and existence of salty pond. For me, you are cool rays of moon which gives the output as its strength even in no-moon time which leads me even in my journey of black hole. You are beautiful rainbow of my life which spreads beauty to increase blueness in the sky. You are those fragrances of flower which attracts all living. But it doesn’t means that you are only the outer beauties of my life. You are the integral part of my life that I never want to forget, nor I can forget. Thousand rector scales of earthquake shall also be not enough to dislocate place occupied by you in my heart. And while decorating you inside my soul, I shall never let this rose get the fear of being surrounded by thrones. I don’t promise you to gift you stars of sky, but I shall try to lead you always and always towards your success and goal. Even in the black den, I shall be myself as a candle to show you the way. In every moment and each seconds, I shall be there to company you, I shall be always there to be for you. I won’t promise myself to be yours in every birth, but if my life favors me, I shall company you till my last breath.

I am completely uneducated in the matter of love. I don’t know what combines to make a perfect and complete dedication. Because I was never in love till before, and perhaps nor shall I be growing in love with any other else. Because you are that same girl whom I have accepted as my first, last and only one love. You are my destination of my love. You are my spiritual desire. In summary you are the same ‘AAKRITI’ about whom I was talking many in many incidents. Yeah Priya, you are the same princess whom I had said that “I don’t know who am I? Nor I want to know it, but after the strike of same light, I shall grow with the new identification, and in the every change of time, to identify me myself I shall be looking at you, on the similar fashion I used to judge myself looking at mirror. I shall adapt the every change that you want me to have. I shall grow on you, I shall grow on you only for you, and I shall grow on you only for you to have you in my life. You shall be my Aakriti, you shall be my back up and you shall be present of my future”

But now here you may create a different question in your mind and soul. You may ask me that among the 6 billions population of world, why didn’t I found Aakriti in any other? I too don’t know the exact answer of this question, perhaps it was the special planning of my lord for me. But the change that I have adapted you in my life after you knocked my heart is sufficient to describe the fact that you are definitely my Aakriti. Yes Priya, you are the same Aakriti whom I wanted to come in my life. In every span and every moment, my eye trying to browse you, after getting you, desiring myself to be lost on you, my face smiling at every moment when it happens to hear from you, and I myself feeling the luckiest in the entire galaxy when I be a live audience of your smile.. Not only the lovable world, I have been matured myself in my realistic world too. You know Priya, now days I am more sincere to my future and my destination where I have planned to reach. I have stopped believing in luck and I feel only and only hardworking is the password for successful life. I have given target to myself so that I shall be able to cross those milestones in a given duration. Whenever I feel like loosing a day, I remember you, I remember your inspiration, and this charges me more effectively, this increases my velocity with greater acceleration. These achievements that I got from you are like in the number of stars present in the sky. Moreover I have started believing in love just because of you. I have starting trusting in the feelings of trust, just because of you. I sometime think how would be my life if u had not informed your arrival on this earth?
Yeah Priya You being in my life is as much as true as water of ocean is said to be salty. I repeat once again Priya that you are not that part of my life which I want to forget, nor I can forget. I don’t say that my life would have been impossible in your absence, but it would definitely have been meaningless in your absence. If any writer happens to write my life-story, it’s sure that you shall be the most beautiful chapters of my life, you shall be the most important chapters of my unwritten book.
Hey Priya, these meaningless words doesn’t mean that I am forcing you to come inside my life, it’s not necessary that you should accept it. You know Priya, on those days when I used to run with my own theory; I used to think love as temporary happiness. So I used to plan my every planning being far away from it as if the bird named ‘Love’ is classified in unclean creatures in the ‘Exodus of Bible’. But time began to change me and my entire internal feelings. My feelings for Aakriti were very different than any other. I never wanted to loose her. I wanted her to realize my love being out of every pressure. Not looking at my positive attitude, not looking at my past and even not looking at my present pitiful situation. May my Aakriti love me only realizing my feelings that I have for her. So dear Priya today in order to not to loose you from my life, to not to let plant any seeds of negative attitude towards me, and to decorate you in my life with same reason, Its necessary today that I have to tighten the knot of my love. I am trying to compress it only inside the limit volume of my mind and soul. Why do you know Priya? Because on those days where I used to look at your eyes to be lost in front of you, I found the story of you and your destination same as it was on me at a particular time. Your eyes are still browsing the same destination whose summit is horizon of our life. I am unknown of the fact that by what name and what fame I am introduced with you till today? What feelings do you have for my Aakriti? Because whenever I used to search myself in your eye, I never found there, I only found you on my eye. You might had thirst of love of someone, don’t know who is that lucky person, still the only thing I know is that I am not that luckiest because I myself was never eligible to be hanged near by your heart, I myself was never comparable to your shoes that you change everyday.
Dear Priya, if I happened to invite you today in my life, it’s sure that the feelings that you have for me gets changed, and it can also happen that I may find myself as the disturbance of your peaceful journey. I was afraid if those reasons which often make me smile may retard at the coming day. And what do you think; to fulfill my personal desire, do I have any right to come between anyone’s destination and their personal life? Perhaps, I never had that right.
So Priya without carrying any hesitation, I although showed you my feelings, but from tomorrow else, I shall be going very and very far from you and your life on such a way that even my remembrance will also be not able to reach you. Still in today’s fragmenting day, I am really happy which nor can I explain it, nor shall I be experiencing it on the coming future. Perhaps I shall be only able to remember this happiness. I just proposed u today because I was really crazy to show up my feelings. My heart was being like the room filled up with smokes and so it was needed to be cleared. For the every insensible word that hurt u, I beg a pardon of sorry; I hope you will grant me some forgiveness thinking me as just human
I don’t mean that I did huge mistakes of proposing you because I am human. Yeah I shall try to prove myself as human by not disturbing you any other day from tomorrow. Today because of you, when I feel like getting all entire happiness and my destination, I can gift you nothing more than thanks. Nor I can dedicate my tomorrow morning to, because I shall be very and very far from you from tomorrow. I shall not be in front of you, until and unless you don’t find my image on your eye, till that time when you shall not be able to understand my love, and until that time when I don’t find myself as disturbance of my your journey, until and unless I don’t be sure of having some few importance in your life.
If that time shall happen to come, I shall be in front of you to propose you face to face, I shall be in front of you to dedicate my life for you for all span.
Yes Priya, that’s all for today. And perhaps these words are my last for you. Now I simply wan a say good bye to you, good bye perhaps for the lifetime. I never know how far shall we shall be from each other on coming day, still my best wishes and my dedicative praying shall be always with my Priya. And keeping doors of my heart open till that time until I won’t get my Priya as my Aakriti. Even that day, I shall not be saying my Priya ‘I love you’ but I shall say that ‘on the way I had loved my Priya yesterday, I love her with same respect even tomorrow and I shall be doing it tomorrow also. Priya you are my desire, you are my passion and you are my love. You were my life, you still are, and shall be even tomorrow. Yes Priya, that is just because of that you are my Aakriti. You are my Aakriti.
Here ends my letter and here ends my words
Here ends my unwritten books.
Here ends………………
Here ends my search of Destiny
Dedicated only and only to my Priya
My love only and only for my Priya

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