Dead Roses and Dead Soul

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Dead Roses and Dead Soul No one saw his major loss


Every morning 
walking up to miles
he collects roses
with the hope
he can give them to her one day Every afternoon
forgetting disappointments
he collects hope
with the dream 
she will be with him one day Even by the end of the day,
those fading roses on his desk
and depressed soul within him,
both continue to live
with a desire of reconciliation someday Times changed
but she didn’t. His soul continues to breathe
he sprays water to roses
hoping neither of them dies
hoping they both live for one more day
where they can hope for one more. She never came back
she decided she won’t. Roses withered and died
his soul grieved and died.
He buried roses and his soul
with no hope of a further journey
with no desire for tomorrow. All saw dead roses
being sorry for its loss
but the dead soul within him
no one cared to search
and remained invisible forever. Suraj Ghimire 2020 This poem was first posted on https://medium.com/storymake

The House where I find Love for me...

The House where I find Love for me...

The value of her smile has always been precious, incomparable and rarest of the rarest. Yes, All I wanted was to see her and those beautiful face throughout my life. All I wanted was to be hugged and have a rest around her. All I needed was her love because she is only one in the world who loves me generously. But, till the earlier day, I was lost in some other world.

God knows the entire journey. From a Class 12 drop out and Salesman selling TATA Indicom walky in slums of Mumbai to a Mathematics Lecturer in Degree College, journey had been tough. Life had been too difficult, but most of the burden was taken by my mother. She was the one who not only motivated and inspired me, but also made sure that every of arrangements were made for my study. Undoubtedly, she has been one of the most beautiful women I have ever found in my life.

While I was pursuing MSc, I fell in love with one cute girl. In my words she was the perfect one I could have ever got. My one sided love story where I waited her for two years is another long story. While I used to wait in my hostel for her to come online and have a chat, I even used to forget having dinner, sleeping empty stomach, not once but many times. We were a good friend but my love could never convinced her thus deteriorating our friendship along with time. She never thought about us and I was stubborn enough to give up my one side love.

I then had a plan. After my MSc, I will go back to Nepal, get a good job and then meet her parents asking her to me. I myself had my own dream and my own house where I would sit with my two lovely angels, my mother and my soul-mate. Destiny asked me if I want to do PhD, it gave me an opportunity but I declined it saying I can have it any other time if I have my love around me.

My mother was aware all of my one sided love story.

Two weeks after my MSc, I met the girl I have loved so much. Though she still kept my love aside, I thought I will convinced her someday. I neither had any other way, because I believed life would be too difficult to live without her. Neither can I afford to keep someone in her place. She was there in My dreams and my future; everywhere but not in realistic.

Looking at my one sided love, she started ignoring me and our communication was stopped. A month later I got a text from her which destroyed even a small hope I had. She is engaged.
I told them to my mother, she got upset. As a woman, she would know my love and she might had no any hard feelings for her, but as a mother she was sad that her son was drowned in love which he could never get. More than all, she was worried about me and my condition.

Next 24 hours were filled up with extreme pain. She tried through every of possibilities to make me happy, but I could think only one part of love. I was like, “What if now….!”
My all those prayers and fasting to search my love had gone in vain, but My God heard prayer of my mother. God talked with me through a Nepali Song where he was repeatedly saying me, “Men dream as if they never die!”

I was happy that it took no time for me to wake up. I started looking at beautiful faces that around me. They were happy to see me smiling, and yeah, even I was. To find those smiles were the ultimate aim of my life, to be loved by them was one of the most precious gifts, especially the one that my mother had for me.

She had invited me in her marriage, but by the time I had already started working as College lecturer back in Mumbai. Every time I get an opportunity, I share this with my students hoping they will never go through those phase as I had travelled, Yeah, we find home over there where there are people who longs to see our happiness and have always loved us through their unconditional love.

I don't regret loving her. I dont have hard words for her, nor I ever found her guilty of not understanding my love. Because I dont regret my love, I neither feel loving her was a mistake. Instead that love was the one which has helped me to mature, more especially it helped me to value those who love me. Today when I see happiness for me among those who love me, I can only thank that beautiful pie who unknowingly helped me understand what love is. Most of all, I thank my mother and my loving sister whose smiles are the one I live for today. 

And they are the one who makes my perfect home today.
Keep Spreading Love.
Suraj Ghimire.

This blog was written for Indiblogger Happy Hours contest of Look up Stories.
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